A Serious Post About F#!*ing Profanity.

Okay, people. We need to talk about this.

Totally kidding. I love profanity. A little too much. When I go skulking about, blog-stalking, it’s a little disturbing how fast I hit the “follow” button when someone uses the “F” word in their intro paragraph. You rebel, you, with your devil-may-care attitude, you just made me smile with your bold irreverence.

Unfortunately (depending on your perspective), I limit myself to the kiddie-table of swear words here. Why? Not entirely sure. Oh wait – my parents would not approve. I think that may be about 92% of it (an overly high percentage for a 41-year-old). And they don’t even read my blog. Sigh.

But, I am (more or less) of the don’t-say-fuck-unless-they-say-fuck-first philosophy. (And, yes, I realize I just said it.) But my parents don’t say the F word, so I don’t say the F word around them. And I don’t say it around my teenagers. And they don’t say it around me. So I talk like a sailor around my husband and friends…and my girls talk like sailors around their friends…and we all live in a penthouse suite in downtown Denial-ville. And we’re happy there.

My parents actually live there, too. My mother is my best reader and absolutely loves my latest novel. It’s first-person and the main girl talks a lot like me (shocking, I know). Well, everyone in the book swears. Top-shelf swear words, too. No kiddie-table crap. However, mom didn’t really have any issue with the swearing unless it was my main girl doing the deed. Really? Yes, really. Denial, party of one, your table is ready.

So, I like using it, but pretend I don’t say it for my parents’ sake, pretend I don’t know it for my daughters’ sake, and thankfully have never accidentally used it in front of the judge. Winning.

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  21 comments for “A Serious Post About F#!*ing Profanity.

  1. Karen Oliver
    May 28, 2014 at 5:16 am

    One of my best decisions of late has been to subscribe to your posts. Thanks for making me laugh. You and Jimmy Kimmel were my entertainment tonight.

    Sent from my iPad

    • May 28, 2014 at 5:23 am

      Why, thank you, Karen! It’s no “This Week In Unnecessary Censorship,” but I try 😉

  2. May 28, 2014 at 1:54 pm

    My mother reads my blog and always emails me saying, “great post, but it could do without the swear words.” I’m twenty-four, I feel like I’ve earned the right to swear by now, but still feel guilty saying the bad words!

    Great post 🙂

    • May 28, 2014 at 6:04 pm

      Thanks 😉

      Yes, I *actually* went back through my manuscript and pared down my girl’s use of the F word. WTF? (Which I love using, by the way, since it’s like I get to say it without saying it 😉 )

  3. May 28, 2014 at 2:03 pm

    I f*cking love you! xoxo

    • May 28, 2014 at 6:08 pm

      I effing love you, too 🙂 (that is my other favorite who-do-you-think-you’re-kidding-we-all-know-you-just-said-the-F-word word 😉 )

  4. May 29, 2014 at 3:02 am

    This is the best fucking blog post ever! I have and plan to swear liberally on my own blog. I swear therefore I am. Deb Laughing Coyote

    • May 29, 2014 at 3:09 am

      hahahahaha…I was JUST admiring your colorful vocabulary on your page when you wrote this 😉 Love it.

  5. May 29, 2014 at 6:40 pm

    I nominated you for the inspiring blogger award!! 🙂
    http://awkwardheather.wordpress.com/2014/05/29/inspiring-blogger-award/

    • May 29, 2014 at 7:35 pm

      Yay! Thanks for the homework assignment! 😉 Just kidding. You’re sweet (and possibly drunk). xo

      • May 29, 2014 at 10:19 pm

        HAHA!! I actually kind of thought the same thing, but it ended up being a little fun!

  6. May 29, 2014 at 6:48 pm

    I rarely use it in my novels, but I don’t seem to have trouble with violence. Odd.

    • May 29, 2014 at 6:56 pm

      My first novel was super clean because I was thinking about my parents reading it, but then I read a quote from Barbara Kingsolver who said “never write with anyone looking over your shoulder”…she elaborated saying to never censor yourself based on who might read your book. So with my recent books I just sort of let it flow, let the *f* bombs fall where they may 😉

      And I think violence has a strange pass from society in general, which is kind of odd. Thanks for the comment!

      • May 29, 2014 at 7:06 pm

        Yippie Kai Yay Mother (gunshot sound) 😛

  7. M. Bee
    May 29, 2014 at 11:57 pm

    If you like swearing you should read my blog – I f-ing love the f-word.

    • May 30, 2014 at 1:44 am

      Hahaha. Already following you 😉

  8. June 13, 2014 at 9:53 pm

    Yessss, I always say “Hey I was not present on the day society voted for these specific words to be profane” I quite like them, they add spice and passion to my verbiage and my recipe of snarky, sarcastic wit. Fuck, fuck, fuck this poor little word has such a bad rap it has to sit alone at recess with no friends so I roll over and hug it out and let it know I’m there for it. I love fuck, she’s such a cool word 🙂

    • June 13, 2014 at 9:57 pm

      Hahahahahaahahahahaha. Oh, you make me laugh. I do think it wouldn’t be as popular if it weren’t considered profane…but there are SO many times when nothing else can accurately describe what you are trying to say…but fuck says it all.

  9. April 7, 2015 at 2:47 pm

    Fuckin’ A…at least you have a little respect for the institution of Denial. I find myself there quite frequently and I’m never sure why I’m there. But I am.

    • April 9, 2015 at 9:50 am

      Hahahaha. I call it being “strategically oblivious.” 😉

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