My Amended and Restated New Year’s Resolutions.

I love New Year’s Eve. Truly. We’re all so full of optimism that – as of tomorrow – life will be done screwing with us for a while. As if life works on our schedule and knows that it needed to get it out of its system by today because if it gave us a royally screwed 2018, then we’re entitled to a hiatus for 2019. Fingers crossed.

With that in mind, time for the time-honored tradition of making ourselves promises that run empty faster than our champagne bottle. Here are my Amended and Restated New Year’s Resolutions:

1. Exercise more some.
2. Drink less alcohol more water.
3. Eat healthy healthier.
4. Keep the house clean the robot vacuum charged.
5. Answer the phone when your daughter calls sometimes.
6. Stop binging on Netflix in excess of four (4) hours.
7. Read more books without vampires in them.
8. Write a book another book.
9. Never give up still.
10. Read more less news.
11. Be kind but stay away from assholes.
12. Don’t focus on the ups and downs just be grateful for the ride.

Thanks, 2018. It’s been weird.