The Funniest Things I’ve Ever Read…

Top-5 style.

1. The first five to ten Stephanie Plum novels. I don’t have examples, but there was repeated LOL’ing…and misguided attempts to read funny passages, out of context, to my unamused husband. Yes, I’m still a Stephanie Plum devotee – mostly because if Janet Evanovich gets that hilarious again, I don’t want to miss it.

2. The Bloggess – And That’s Why You Should Learn to Pick Your Battles. I love this chick.  And this bit made me cry. Three words: knock knock motherfu**er.

3. Dave Barry defining the term TMI in this detailed description of his close encounters of the butt kind.

4. F U Penguin. The book, not the blog. Only because I bought the book before hearing of the blog. But the book is just shit from the blog…and here’s a snippet for your reading pleasure.

This bear is essentially raping my soul

So basically this totally thoughtless motherfucker decided regular bears weren’t cute enough. His solution? GIVE HIMSELF NATURAL FUCKING EYEGLASSES. Then, becoming the single cutest animal on the face of the earth, he laid on his fucking back so we could all see his goddamn belly, and then furtively glanced in our direction, thereby rendering any potential defense against his advances totally useless. Well played, Bear. I’m going to go take a shower now.

5. Shit My Dad Says. It’s a book. It’s a Twitter account. It’s effing hilarious.

“Sometimes life leaves a hundred dollar bill on your dresser, and you don’t realize until later that it’s because it fucked you.”

I’m sure as soon as I hit “publish” I’ll remember some other gut-wrenchingly funny thing I read…that I’ll just keep to myself.

Let’s hear it.  What made you laugh till you cried??