The Funniest Things I’ve Ever Read…

Top-5 style.

1. The first five to ten Stephanie Plum novels. I don’t have examples, but there was repeated LOL’ing…and misguided attempts to read funny passages, out of context, to my unamused husband. Yes, I’m still a Stephanie Plum devotee – mostly because if Janet Evanovich gets that hilarious again, I don’t want to miss it.

2. The Bloggess – And That’s Why You Should Learn to Pick Your Battles. I love this chick.  And this bit made me cry. Three words: knock knock motherfu**er.

3. Dave Barry defining the term TMI in this detailed description of his close encounters of the butt kind.

4. F U Penguin. The book, not the blog. Only because I bought the book before hearing of the blog. But the book is just shit from the blog…and here’s a snippet for your reading pleasure.

This bear is essentially raping my soul

So basically this totally thoughtless motherfucker decided regular bears weren’t cute enough. His solution? GIVE HIMSELF NATURAL FUCKING EYEGLASSES. Then, becoming the single cutest animal on the face of the earth, he laid on his fucking back so we could all see his goddamn belly, and then furtively glanced in our direction, thereby rendering any potential defense against his advances totally useless. Well played, Bear. I’m going to go take a shower now.

5. Shit My Dad Says. It’s a book. It’s a Twitter account. It’s effing hilarious.

“Sometimes life leaves a hundred dollar bill on your dresser, and you don’t realize until later that it’s because it fucked you.”

I’m sure as soon as I hit “publish” I’ll remember some other gut-wrenchingly funny thing I read…that I’ll just keep to myself.

Let’s hear it.  What made you laugh till you cried??

  8 comments for “The Funniest Things I’ve Ever Read…

  1. April 23, 2014 at 1:27 pm

    I checked out number 2 and suddenly want a large inanimate, animal shaped object to name.

    • April 23, 2014 at 3:09 pm

      At least it’s not towels.

  2. May 6, 2014 at 8:04 pm

    Let’s Pretend This Never Happened; The Longest Date by Cindy Chupack (wrote for Sex and the City); Hyperbole and a Half; True Tales of Love and Lust (essay collection of horrifyingly hilarious dating disasters; made me feel less alone; Cindy Chupack’s in there, btw).

    • May 6, 2014 at 8:05 pm

      Awesome! I am totally going to look up all of those 🙂

  3. June 18, 2014 at 12:32 am

    The Stephanie Plum books are hilarious. I haven’t read all of them yet, but I’m in the teens. I love Me Talk Pretty One Day by David Sedaris, and the Hitchhiker’s Guide to the Galaxy is funny in a more subtle way.

    • June 18, 2014 at 4:19 am

      I had no idea Me Talk Pretty One Day was funny…I’ve heard of it but haven’t read it. I’ll add it to my list 🙂

      • June 18, 2014 at 11:55 pm

        Yeah, it’s hilarious! I think it’s his best book by far. 😀

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