Give Me 5 Minutes and I’ll Get You Excited for the Zombie Apocalypse.

Zombie Apocalypse Of course, some of you need no convincing and are probably already stockpiling ammo and bottled water. But for the rest of you…

I’m a fan of zombie movies, new and old, and a huge Walking Dead fan. But what I’ve realized is that there is an emotional component to the draw of the zombie apocalypse that’s driving my desire for apocalypse-themed entertainment lately.

Think about it. It’s all about survival. Nothing strips away the bullshit of our day-to-day lives like a hoard of mindless, flesh-eating zombies. Because that parent-teacher conference you were dreading next week? Pretty sure it’s canceled. Still upset that a couple of your friends checked in on Facebook for happy hour without inviting you? Nope. Just worried about surviving till happy hour. Stressed about losing 10 pounds before bathing suit season? There is no more bathing suit season. Plus, you’ll probable be in kick-ass shape from walking all day and swinging a heavy machete.

The point is, there is no more worrying about your kids grades, their college paths, their life choices. Your new parenting goals? Food, water, no bites. I can get behind that. Plus, no more stressing over your career, your mortgage, your retirement account. Congratulations. Your five-year plan just went out the window. You’re now working on a 24-hour plan with one goal: survive.

This sounds good to me. Because I’m at a point where my threshold for bullshit is microscopic and there’s so much bullshit. The things I worry about in a given day are so insignificant in light of what I’ve lost. But somehow I still have to worry about them. Because life goes on, with all its bullshit intact. Unless we fall into a zombie apocalypse. Fingers crossed.


  16 comments for “Give Me 5 Minutes and I’ll Get You Excited for the Zombie Apocalypse.

  1. March 24, 2015 at 8:58 am

    Can we hold back the zombie apocalypse until my ankle heals? If it happens now, I’m dead for sure. I can’t even walk fast at the moment. Lol

    • March 24, 2015 at 9:58 am

      For you, Heather, of course 😉 Feel better! (Soon, cause I can’t hold it off forever.)

  2. March 24, 2015 at 9:00 am

    They need a zombie survival vacation package… I’d go on it.

    • March 24, 2015 at 9:58 am

      Me too. Hmmm. I think you may be on to something. Partner.

      • March 24, 2015 at 10:10 am

        We should totally make a theme park based on survival / zombie evasion. They can be all over the US and different climates can lead to different obstacles.

      • March 24, 2015 at 10:12 am

        Like an immersion camp. Part horror attraction, part nature hike 😉

      • March 24, 2015 at 10:15 am

        See? There you go. Like an urban obstacle course that wants to eat you.

      • March 24, 2015 at 10:23 am

        Pure genius.

      • March 24, 2015 at 10:24 am

        Now, to find investors…

  3. March 24, 2015 at 10:23 am

    This is equal parts brilliant and terrifying. I’m entirely done with the bullshit…and my job…and my boss. Done, done, done. But let’s face it, I’d be the first to die in the zombie apocalypse because I love cookies and hate the gym.

    • March 24, 2015 at 10:26 am

      Lol. Don’t underestimate the value of strategy. And firearms. 😉

  4. March 24, 2015 at 9:18 pm

    I’m excited about the day that the zombie fad transitions into the next fad so I can point and laugh at all the people who are now denying they were ever “into” those out-of-style zombies.

  5. March 26, 2015 at 12:58 am

    Death and loss, the ultimate divider. I appreciate how in an instant, everything comes clear. People, places, where, or where not to expend time or energy. And the bullshit and drama…well yes, that can be the best part, in avoidance that is ; )

    • April 6, 2015 at 6:36 pm

      But the bullshit you can’t avoid is sooooo frustrating. 😉

  6. April 3, 2015 at 8:45 am

    I dream of the day when I walk down street, clutching my blood stained machete, without people constantly alerting the authorities. Babies.

    • April 6, 2015 at 6:39 pm

      I know. People are such alarmists.

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